Learning to Wait
Suddenly, everyone can’t wait anymore!
What has happened that most of us can’t wait anymore? Why is it that everybody is always rushing? We’ve emerged in a world that is bombarded with information which people want to action immediately. The immediacy propagated by success motivation videos and the Internet has created a pressure to get things done fast.
However, while it is great to get things done quickly, we have thrown away the balance – the place of waiting which comes by sound character values. This has caused students to not want to study hard, but rather depend on examination malpractices; graduates changing their ages just to get jobs or get into business just to be rich early. Why do we not know that life is not fast but in transitions, and a connection of processes that lead to the desired haven?
Why do we not know that life is not fast but in transitions, and a connection of processes that lead to the desired haven?
David Adegboyega
If you can’t wait, you can’t be great.
We must raise a generation of people that will learn to wait, and stand up, right. We must let the world know that true greatness comes through waiting which is enabled by sound character. It is while waiting that you learn the wisdom and build the goodwill that makes greatness happen. Greatness is a function of how many people you serve. To serve people requires that you have a solution to what they need; and this solution is not developed in a hurry.
True greatness comes through waiting which is enabled by sound character.
David Adegboyega
It takes process. When we don’t want to give the hardwork and ‘hardwait’ required to create a solution that people want, then we really do not want to serve them. The farce called ‘get-rich-quick-n-early’ has brainwashed a generation of young people, making them eager to by-pass the process but get the products of success. But if they can’t wait, they can’t be great. Little wonder we see several abandoned building projects as well as luxury cars in mechanic workshops.
What you get when you wait
When you wait to go through the process, life itself will connect the dots to your greatness. When you wait, you gain sound character strengths. When you wait, you learn patience to see what people need, humility to hear how to solve their problems and perseverance to get to work to create the solution. You learn how to be focused and avoid the pitfalls on the path to greatness.
When you wait, you learn patience to see what people need, humility to hear how to solve their problems and perseverance to get to work to create the solution.
David Adegboyega
There is joy in waiting because, the process is more important than the product. When the process is mastered, it keeps reproducing the product. When we learn to wait, we would not want to eat the future today. When we want now what is to be had in the future, we eat the future today and so never get into that future. The mindset of not wanting to wait has led to many broken marriages, ‘uneducated’ graduates, religion without character and near-failed states where basic amenities of life are shamefully absent in the midst of plenty.
There is joy in waiting because, the process is more important than the product.
David Adegboyega
To build the nation of our dream, we must teach the current generation, and leave a legacy for the next on waiting. Learn to wait!
David Adegboyega
Author & Sound Character Coach
+2348032015433
daveadegboyega@gmail.com
- Published in Sound Character Weekly
Discipline
It’s a Journey
One of the reasons for life and living is to have a goal, a purpose or an assignment you are working towards. More often than not, when the goal is achieved, right within that achievement, you see another goal to be achieved so you can get to the ultimate definition of your life. What keeps you going on the journey to fulfilment is discipline, which determines your actions or inactions. Our academic courses are also know as disciplines because they contain instructions to tailor us in a defined profession.
David Adegboyega
What keeps you going on the journey to fulfilment is discipline, which determines your actions or inactions.
To be disciplined, therefore, is to have one’s goal clearly in focus and pursued with determination and meticulousness. As parents, one of our most important assignments is to raise disciplined children. One of the ways to achieve this is by being deliberate in painting to your children a picture of what they should aspire unto. This is the best way to achieve discipline in children because that clear picture of their future makes discipline flow from their inside.
David Adegboyega
As parents, one of our most important assignments is to raise disciplined children.
Discipline is best Inside-Out
Discipline is better inside-out, than outside in. Outside in could be through punishment or correction; which should be done in a manner to get the child to let discipline flow from their inside. Your goal is to raise children who have imbibed sound character strengths early in life because it makes discipline flow from inside out. Children learn by pictures; in fact, we all never stop learning by pictures because words are pictures.
Therefore, one of the early pictures to paint to our children is that of godly character. They must see themselves in that picture. Of course, this places a demand on parents to be that picture of discipline and excellence. We must have an excellent mind and let this reflect in what we say and do. We must not let our words and actions be conditioned by the needs-driven world we live in. We must comport ourselves in ways that distills discipline to everyone around us. A needs-driven mindset is not patient, it wants whatever it wants now. Products of discipline are not instant; we must raise a citizenry that can wait and give the required discipline to achieve worthwhile goals.
David Adegboyega
One of the early pictures to paint to our children is that of godly character.
What our Nation will be like with Discipline
Imagine what our nation will be like when we are able to correct the needs-driven mindset that’s making young people impatient to be rich and successful. The truth is people don’t need all they think they need. Having discipline flow from inside out makes you patient to think of what you really need, and focus energy on getting it done. Wanting to do too many things at the same time makes people impatient and lose discipline. We can correct this needs-driven mentality as we raise children that have discipline flowing from inside out.
David Adegboyega
The truth is people don’t need all they think they need.
Imagine what driving will be like when, for instance, the traffic light is not working but road users pace themselves and wait for others to have the right of way. Just imagine what message has been passed to the children in the vehicles at that time? The traffic light is like the outside influence to get us disciplined. Imagine policy and law makers with this mindset; the mindset of discipline in working for the common good. Sound character strengths have the potentials to transform nations; let’s celebrate it. Let’s give it the pride of place.
David Adegboyega
Sound character strengths have the potentials to transform nations; let’s celebrate it. Let’s give it the pride of place.
David Adegboyega
Author & Sound Character Coach
+2348032015433
daveadegboyega@gmail.com
- Published in Sound Character Weekly
Redefining True Success
Why is the adjective ‘true’ added to success? This is because a lot of things have been attributed as success which truly are not; coupled with the fact that we have emerged into a social media, or better put, “instant media” world. And suddenly, we can’t wait any more. Everything must happen “now!”. Every young person is now concerned with the “end” at the expense of the “means.” Get-rich quick; fame even at the expense of shame; living large and lavish have now become the pursuit of most young people. We need a mass action to change this mindset. We need a mass action for sound character. Any success devoid of sound character is at best a failure. Anything achieved which is not through honesty is not true success. We must change the cliché from “the end justifies the means” to “the end must be justified by a honest means.”
The Disservice of a Warped Meaning of Success
An evident damage has been done to our society by celebrating things that really are “no success”. The “instant success mindset” has reduced the quality of everything we do. The impact can be seen in the four key pillars of society – family, education, religion and the media. For the family unit for instance, the situation where young men think they must attain a level of ‘so-called success’ at any cost so as to impress the would-be wives before getting married, and also where the young ladies are waiting to be impressed with material wealth, sets a wrong success metrics for the family. “Instant success” has led to a collateral damage in education; a situation where a lot of students only think of passing examinations, and not seeking knowledge. The quality of outputs from our pulpits and the media also reflects the disservice that the “instant success” mindset has had on this nation.
Redefining Success for Nigerians
We must inspire the nation Nigeria back to true success. We Nigerians must redefine true success. True success is finding and fulfilling your work i.e. your purpose for living. The ‘things’ that come as a result of fulfilling your work is not the success; success is fulfilling your work on earth. Your work is the value you are to add to the world, the platform for delivering that is sound character. So, more important than a desire for success, should be a desire for work. A mindset to find purpose early in life and pursue it to the point of success should be what parents must work with their children to achieve. The education curriculum must include this; the pulpits must emphasize it while the media must celebrate it. True celebrity is a product of sound character.
Who Gains When Success is Truly Defined
The nation, meaning the people, gains when success is defined in the right context. Success is a function of honest work built on sound character, and nothing else. We need a mass action for sound character, and must employ every pillar of society to achieve this. Everybody gains when everybody lives by sound character.
We must re-define true success!
David Adegboyega
Author & Sound Character Coach
+2348032015433
daveadegboyega@gmail.com
- Published in Sound Character Weekly
The 50-Year Challenge
How Did We Get Here?
Nothing just happens. One of the key principles of geology is that “the past is the key to the future”. To understand today, we must look at the past; and to understand the future, we must look at what we do today. What you do today is your history, imagine it laced with sound character! What we see around us in Nigeria today should not make us expend energy on lamentation or abusing anyone.But to look to the past to see what we began to do that led to where we are today. “But we were not in the past”, you might say; all you need do is see what is prevalent today – the crave for prosperity, get-rich-quick. Life, when lived with sound character, is a progression to prosperity. But when prosperity becomes the die-hard focus, sound character is neglected, and the result is poverty. The poverty or prosperity of nations can be traced to a debasing or an embracing of sound character.
50 years is a Moment at a Time
50 years will never come en bloc, it is a moment at a time. When we watch what we do every time and align it to sound character, we will have a desirable nation. Let us all take up this challenge personally, because each one of us make up the nation. The mass action we need, is not of only carrying placards against corruption or other ills in the society, we need amass action for sound character. So, if the crave for prosperity has led to a degenerate society as we have it today, then what shall we do?
Going Forward
We must raise a new mindset in the society. We must raise a generation of young people who believe in the dignity of labour, enterprise, innovation and integrity. This mindset must be imbibed by a critical mass in every socio-economic segment of society. Your belief is seen in your character, you can’t hide it. This is a journey we must embark on over the next 50 years, and come to a point where what will make for winning in an election, is not how much money those vying for positions can throw around, but how much sound character they have displayed over the years. It looks like a dream; but another 50 years will soon be here.
Your belief is seen in your character, you can’t hide it.
David Adegboyega
David Adegboyega
Author & Sound Character Coach
+2348032015433
daveadegboyega@gmail.com
- Published in Sound Character Weekly